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All Work And No Play Make Jack a Dull Boy

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Monday, August 21st, 2006
2:57 pm - Insurance

I’m new so I thought I’d introduce myself. My name is Niki. I work at an insurance company and I hate my job. It is just like a scene out of “Office Space”. I’m surrounded by people with annoying voices, tattle-tails, stuck-ups, and so much more. I do idiotic crap like file all day. Not only do I get crapped on because I’m a support associate, people think they are better than me because I’m young. I’m trapped here because of the pay and the benefits. Fun stuff.
1 Dollar | Payday!
Saturday, August 5th, 2006
4:41 pm

I have a couple of minor things that I haven't been able to let go of for a while, so here we go:
Read more...Collapse )

current mood: angry
1 Dollar | Payday!
Friday, December 9th, 2005
12:29 pm - Hey Hip Cats, what's the Scam?

Oooh, so what's up?
I got a prank first aid call at work yesterday.

"You need to get down to the mailroom right away. I guy here has his hand cut right off."

No, I'll admit I didn't question the How of the situation. There's some odd machines in there, so I suppose it would be possible. And I surely wouldn't suspect a bunch of guys pushing the age of forty to be so stupid. So I ran my ass across the building and leapt down two flights of stairs (in what I imagine has to be record time for that building), only to be greated by a laughing moron and his co-workers.

"Oh, what I meant was, I need you to unlock this door," he says. Jesus Christ. Right, so har dee harhar , he got me.
2 Dollars | Payday!
Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
12:17 am - Oh The Crappiest...
buryyoursins My Crappy Job.....Is not Having One. I have worked for 4 damn years and for the first time i am jobless. Stupid moving from Nanaimo - Edmonton. The plus being getting outta nanaimo...but i'm moneyless. Hell i think i was happier working. Takes up time and gives you...money. I've had my share of jobs Little Caesars(2 Years), Retirement Home(2 Years), Tim Hortons(4 Days) and lastly Soloman's Coating(4 Hours).

Tomorrow i'm gonna hand out resumes. If i don't have a job by next week i'm packing my shit and moving back to Nanaimo.....no probably not. But i need a job.


PS.I'll add another entry when i have a real crappy job.
7 Dollars | Payday!
Monday, September 5th, 2005
4:18 pm - People I Would Like To Thank

The guy who left white powdery lines on the bathroom sink after being in there for a good 15 mins to half hour.
The people who claim me to be racist because I won't sell them beer after hours.
The teens who make me tackle them by doing beer runs.
The strippers who think they're clever enough to steal from me which forces me to pick their pockets to get our merchandise back.
The women who think that showing me their breast or just walking in nude means they can get free stuff.
The clerk who keeps drinking on the job.
The clerks who leave their shift like a warzone.
The manager who demands I be back in three hours but won't let me sleep at the store.
The guys who asked if I had a knife on me they could borrow to "Cut out a tooth that hurts."
The people who want me to step outside because I looked at their girl and then don't know what to do once I do go outside.
The crackhead outside my store who buys a pack of smokes and a sandwich, eats the food, has a cigarette, and then begins to yell insainly for no aparent reason.
The drunks who drink on store property and make me waste paintballs getting rid of them.
The people who want to trade drugs for food or gas.
The white kids who act black.
The area manager for blaiming everything on me.
The people who claim to work at other gas stations so they get free drinks and hot dogs.
The customers who get pissed that I won't turn on the gas at night even though they "come in all the time at night" and I've been working graveyard for two years and have never seen them.

Thank you all for making me job hell. Ugh

current mood: annoyed
Friday, September 2nd, 2005
4:15 pm - So Happy I Found This Place

Before I get down to the nitty gritty I would just stand up and say "Hi, my name is Custos and I work at a crappy job." Heh. Alright. This crappy job is that of a register monkey. To be more precise I work at a 24 hour gas station in a city that is the redneck ghetto cracktown middle of nowhere kind of place. This alone should have scared me away from applying for graveyard, but I needed the cash. Before I go one with craptastic things I want to give you what I all "The List!" Pretty much it's rules that I specificlly have been given. Hope you enjoy.

The ListCollapse )

current mood: accomplished
3 Dollars | Payday!
Monday, August 22nd, 2005
10:50 pm

Earlier tonight, a certain douche' bag co-worker/buddy of mine radios me and says "Can you come down to building 164 when you get a chance?" I say sure, and walk about two steps when he comes back on the radio, with a little bit of panic in his voice and says "scratch that, come right now, there's rowdies here."

I'm a security guard, for the record. So I start running full speed (and I'm out of shape), I go flying past a car full of people who look at me funny, jump down every set of stairs I come to, almost tripping and dying. Then I get to the building to see douche' bag standing there with a couple of chicks, and the whole lot of them having a good laugh. Fuckers. This is what you get for trying to be helpful.
3 Dollars | Payday!
Saturday, July 30th, 2005
2:59 pm

So I had three days off last week, which I used to go camping. I didn't work until 4 in the afternoon the day I got back, so I wasn't home until about 2. When I get home, I find three messages on my machine. Two from the day before telling me to call work asap, and one earlier that morning with a curt little voice saying "I hope you're going to be at work today."

So I double check my schdule, and everything was in order. The three days I was gone were 100% my days off. So I call the office and my scheduler says "Next time you go out of town, can you tell me? We really needed someone to cover a shift last night."

What the fuck? I have to check in with my work now and make sure I'm allowed to leave On My Days Off? And why the fuck wouldn't I be at work when I came back? Have I ever just not shown up for work? No. Jesus Christ.
1 Dollar | Payday!
Thursday, July 14th, 2005
4:15 pm

Some Malaspina Employee: "You smoke?"
Me, not expecting the question: "Uh, yeah."
Employee: "You're an asshole."
Me: "Uuuh.. oh."

Holy shit it was hot out today. Smart thinking on the shaving of your head, Reid, you look like a fucking clown now, thanks to the sun. Well, it's my own fault for not getting a hat, and forgetting the sun screen.

What else? Facilities reported a "suspicious male" today, who after a brief and polite questioning by me, was being quite reasonable, was ordered to be "detained and searched" by the Dean of the building. Jesus Christ there Dick Tracey, calm down. I felt really bad for the guy, and wanted to apologize afterwards, but the Dean and my supervisor bombed me with questions about what he said before they showed up. I was kind of hoping being an asshole was an option, not a requirement of secuirty. Oh well, live and learn.

Was the guy guilty of anything? Fucked if I know, but he didn't steal anything from the college, so what do I care?

Anyway, I think that's about it for today.
Friday, June 24th, 2005
2:15 pm

I'm gonna keep this short because I'm on someone elses computer.
Here we go - I'm a 130 pound security guard who smokes far too much and can't walk up a hill without getting winded. (for the record, I am not even close to being one of the power tripping asshole security guards either) The office likes to fuck everyone, and people are constantly called in on their days off. I'm currently on a construction site as the first aid attendant (don't ask why a security company hires out first aid attendants), and at the same time, my predessor has been re-hired, and has his own lacky's running around. So it makes absolutely no sense for me to be there, but one of my bosses still went ape shit on me over the phone last night because of vomitting and it not being sanitary. I managed to get out of work today, but I'm breaking up my weekend tomorrow night to make up for it.

Fuck. Okay, thanks.

current mood: annoyed
Monday, March 14th, 2005
10:12 pm - The punchline to my employer's favorite joke.

'Hey Rachel, will you go downstairs and see if we have any nails?Collapse )

current mood: grumpy
3 Dollars | Payday!
Thursday, February 10th, 2005
8:37 pm - customer etiquette, people are assholes, enraged ranting, and I hate mayonaise

Today I got up and shat around for a while, read for a while, CS:S a while and then had to work 5-8.

The rest of this entry goes out to every asshole customer ever. I'ts full of swearing and ranting.. and awesome too.

Lemme tell you now that 4 out of every 5 customers that we had in that short amount of time were COMPLETE ASSHOLES! I hated life I swear I can't stand the people around here. Fuck you assholes who want sauce on the side for your sandwich to think that it will be fresher FUCK YOU IT WILL NOT BE, IT IS ALL FRESH!. Also fuck you assholes who eat mayo on EVERYTHING, even turnovers and they even get mayo on the side to dip their pizza in it's disgusting, seriously one of the worst things ever, I hate mayo its nothing but raw eggs and lard.. people are all "oh I love mayo" FUCK YOU LARD ASS! when you're 60 and have a massive coronary I hope you don't regret sucking mayo down and bathing in mayo and washing your hair in it and having sex covered in mayo.

I'm also sick of assholes who complain when I say "10 min" or "15 min" don't get me wrong I'm nice and respectful on the phone all the time but when you proceed to bitch and complain that its gonna take 10 min for your beefy cheese meat lard sandwich my respect for you plummets. When you hang up without saying anything after I say the amount of time it's going to take I'm almost compelled to call you back and say "excuse me you hung up on me, is there anything else you wanted?" just to piss you off. Also if you smell of 2 weeks of BO, ass, and are covered in grease, don't go flopping yourself on the counter and leaning over so you're less than 2 feet from us right in front of you making your food YOU STINK, TAKE 4 SHOWERS, SHAVE YOUR ARMS, AND BURN YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES.

Also don't show up early I can't stand someone who orders 3 pizzas and shows up 5 min after they order, then they bitch and complain the whole time asking every 2 min "how much longer you think it'll be?" if we say 25 min, we don't mean 6 min.. we mean 25 min asshole. When you want a delivery and add something right as we leave, dont call back in 5 min saying "where are you at?" get your head out of your ass YOU JUST ORDERED SOMETHING ELSE it's going to take the time to cook it and find your house, that's if you didn't give shitty directions in the first place which seems to happen most of the time.

I'm done. I'm an asshole and everyone is stupid.

almost everyone

I love you guys

current mood: naked
3 Dollars | Payday!
Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
6:56 am

I just agreed to work 8 hours overtime.

Here's to 16 hours in this hell hole.
1 Dollar | Payday!
3:13 am - "i love my job"

So, tonight right before I'm getting ready to leave for work, I realize that my dumbass roomate left his car parked behind mine in the drive. They were already at the bar...the bar that takes 20 minutes to drive to...and my cell phone is fucked right now. So...I had to walk to a payphone in the freezing fucking cold and call them.

All of this made me late for my stupid job.

As soon as I step off the elevator, a nurse informs me that one of the patients has died. That means I have to bag, tag, and take them to the morgue. This nurse also informs me that I am to be training a new nursing assistant tonight.


1. It sucks when patients die. I don't like going to the morgue. It sucks. Dead people suck.

2. I already work with a girl who is fairly new...and apperently, fairly new to this country. So on top of the fact that she doesn't know what the fuck she's doing, she barely speaks or understands english to boot.

3. I fucking hate training people. They follow me around, they hover over me while I do stuff and it drives me up the god damned wall.

3. Since I had some time to kill (ha) before venturing down to the morgue, I decided to do my vitals. Which entails waking everyone up to get their blood pressure and blah blah blah. Well, every person I saw needed something. It was all stupid bullshit they could do for themselves, but...why do for yourself when I'm around?! fucking assholes.

4. Now, all of my patients have taken to shitting themselves, which means I basically have been walking from room to room for the last 4 hours wiping old ass.

I'm bringing a gun with me tomorrow.

current mood: shitty
Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
2:01 am - so, I'm new.

Okay, I'm new here. It never dawned on me that there would be a lj community that was focused around how much hate a person has for their job.

I have hate. I can't even put it into words. I just seriously fucking hate that place.

The stats:
I am a nursing assistant at a hospital. At some point I had this silly little notion about becoming an actual RN. Well fuck that. Taking care of nasty, sitting on medicare people is for the fucking birds.

But, it pays my bills.

So, now I work this shitty job (and I work midnights, which I sometimes hate more than my job) and am miserable 40 hours a week.

Anyway, this is me saying hi.

Sunday, October 31st, 2004
12:20 pm - Ugh...

I had the customer from hell early yesterday evening. Shortly after I returned to work my night shift, an elderly couple walked in, barely acknowledged me, and went straight for a table. Normally, we're supposed to seat customers, and all of us get frustrated when people ignore us (especially considering we need to seat people to ensure they don't sit at a table that's reserved). Well, they sat down, and before I could say a word, she declares, "I know what I want!" So I say, "Okay, give me a moment to grab my pen and I'll be right back." She says, "I want a glass of white wine." I say, "Alright" and turn to her husband and ask him what he wants. She gets mad and says, "He doesn't want anything." Uhhh, okay.

So I brought her the wine, took their order, and hoped everything was going to be alright. However, when I walked past her table, she gestured for me to come over, and said rudely, "This wine is really sour." Okay, first of all, when she abruptly ordered her wine, I assumed she knew what our house wine is. We have drink menus sitting at the end of the table that she could have easily looked at. And if she didn't want to do that, she could have asked me what our house wine is, whether it's dry (it is!), and whether she could have a sample (which we always do when people are uncertain). I didn't tell her this, though. I told her we had a chardonnay, but it's a little more expensive, and did she want to have that instead. Her reply, "No, I'm fine."

At that point, I decided to try to avoid their table. It didn't work, because as soon as she caught glimpse of me, she gestured me over again, pointed to the candles and said, "So you guys don't light these, do you?" (Take into consideration the fact that it's only five o'clock, and lighting a candle while it's still daylight would be pointless.) I should have agreed to light the stupid candle, but made the mistake of explaining that we don't light them because they don't burn very long. Her reply: "They burn for five hours." Uh, okay. I then tried to explain to her that, yes, they burn for five hours, but if we don't light them until it begins to get dark, we can usually get two evenings out of them, rather than one (and don't have to buy as many tealights, right?). I shouldn't have bothered with this explanation. She asked me to repeat myself three times, and finally I said, "Would you like me to light it?" Knowing she had won, she said rudely, "Yes, that would be nice."

The rest of their meal went without any hitches. I felt sorry for the husband, because he was super nice. In fact, I don't think he said more than two words to me. I was ecstatic when they finally paid and left.

Well, I was standing at the till with my managers, when she marches back into the restaurant, and says to me, "How is this $31.08?" I examined the bill, and she was right, I had overcharged them for the fish and chips. I apologized over and over, and my managers were going to back up the transaction (or something, I'm not too sure as we're not responsible for dealing with these situations). Well, the lady kept saying, "I want you to void it! I want you to void it!" My manager tried explaining to her that he was doing something similar, but she kept getting angrier and declaring, "I want you to void it! People need to have record of these things. Void it!" My manager then looked at me, admitted defeat, and voided it. Meanwhile, the lady kept saying to me, "Why would you do that? Why would you make such a bad mistake? I hope you don't do that all the time. How could you do that? That's a really bad thing to do." Over and over. I kept apologizing and saying, "Yes, I know, that's right." It didn't matter. I'm pretty sure she thought that if she kept repeating these things in my manager's presence, I would be fired on the spot. Yeah right, my managers were the one giving me the "this lady's fucking crazy" eyes.

Once she had all her copies, my manager said, "Well, I'm glad you noticed ma'am" to which she replied "You bet I did" and marched out of the restaurant. I think she was mad that I wasn't fired. I don't think she'll be coming back to the restaurant. (It's funny that her husband didn't return with her. Once again, I feel sorry for him!) When I told my coworkers about them, they were disgusted. People don't understand that we don't use Squirrel or any other computer system to do our bills. We write them all by hand, go searching through the menu for the prices, and add them up our selves. It's time consuming and making mistakes is inevitable. That's why my managers weren't mad--they've made the same mistake!
Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
12:09 am


(I'm qutting Tim Hortons)
Thursday, October 21st, 2004
10:34 pm - shiiiiit

I used to love fridays, but I've grown to hate them. Every Friday we get a huge dinner rush, and being the only person making sandwiches really sucks, I basically stand in front of a hot grill and make hot subs for 4 hours straight, then if I have any spare time while waiting for a cheese steak or gyro or anything to cook I have to do cleaning. Usually the case is that I dont do any cleaning and the boss says a smartass remark to me about not cooking fast enough or not doing any cleaning. Every Friday this is what I go througth, and I cant ask for friday off because we're understaffed... yay
Sunday, October 17th, 2004
1:52 am

This is short, and actually isn't a complaint about my job. But this community is too damn quiet lately, so I'll post it anyway.

I'm at work earlier, and the 14 year old brother of one of my co-workers, and his friends all got on the drive through with their bikes and started ordering Big Mac's and fries and shit. Being a Tim Hortons, we obviously don't have any of that, they were just trying to piss off my co-worker, Bonnie. Then the supervisor, a 22ish year old chick says over the drive thru "You need a life."

And the brother struck back with "You need a dildo!"
And I laughed my ass off, because I'm about as mature as they are. Good stuff.

current mood: Not bad
1 Dollar | Payday!
Monday, October 4th, 2004
1:48 am

I think its awesome that I've found a community like this. I just joined and my name is James. I live in Virginia and I work 6 days a week in a locally owned pizzeria in a crappy little mountain town built around a paper mill, yes the town smells like ass.

Anyways I'm sure I'll be updating constantly about how horrible my days are. I look forward to reading more from all of you.

1 Dollar | Payday!
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